A Cog in the Machine
I have spent the last couple of days researching, learning, and educating myself on my main passion, pregnancy and childbirth. I've been talking with some friends that share the same passion and interest as me. I also have felt more pull to pursue my passion than ever before. Because it is necessary. It is absolutely necessary to share with other expecting moms exactly what I know and my experiences.
So many times I have worried that people think I'm being pushy. Or I'm acting like a hippy. But the reason I started this whole journey was because mothers' lives and babies' lives hang in the crooks of our maternity healthcare system. Why aren't there more people standing up to protect them? It's time to stand.
I'm going to share my story and how I began on this journey of self development, discovery, and allowing myself to experience pregnancy and birth in the best possible way.
I went in to the hospital too early (before it was mandated that you had to be at least 39 weeks for induction). I was only two centimeters dilated and honestly, probably could have been pregnant for another week. I got an epidural, basically was induced, delivered quickly (thank god) but baby was sunny side up, my heart rate dropped (because of an undiagnosed condition that I didn't know I had yet), the vacuum ended up being used, and she was born. I had a significant tear. The postpartum period (not the birth) was the worst part for me. I couldn't move well at all. I bled very heavily for a few weeks. I ended up with a non-diagnosed (but diagnosed by me) , non treated post partum depression. Baby had a lot of issues, we could never establish breastfeeding well. I pumped up until six weeks and quit because she was a miserable baby that cried constantly. Formula fed we went and started her on Similac Advance, her belly and colic never improved, so she ended up with the most expensive formula out there. She was just a super cranky fussy baby. And during that time was when it clicked that the beginning of motherhood doesn't have to be like that, and I truly believe that her birth caused all of those things to be set into motion.
These desperate times really set things in motion. Some mothers would just think that that experience was "normal" and "that's the way things are". I knew that it couldn't possibly be like that. I didn't think of motherhood like that. I knew that there had to be a better option our there. For my next birth, I didn't want to be a cog in the machine. I didn't want to be a subject in which birth was placed onto me through induction methods and control was initiated by someone else besides me with the use of an epidural.
Fast forward to the birth of my second child, I ended up getting the epidural with him because I was "scared". I learned quickly that was a mistake because my blood pressure dropped to 56/34 immediately after it was placed. I felt like that was God's way of telling me, that He is ultimately in control, and that there was no medical indication for me to get the epidural. It was a much easier labor with him and much better recovery. I credit this to being more prepared and educated prior to delivery.
The birth of my third child was by far the easiest and LEAST invasive. I did not get an epidural and to my preference sat on the birthing ball the whole duration of my labor. I was content, comfortable, happy, laughing, and felt no pain. I started feeling some discomfort and knew that this was probably time to push. Pushing was laborious. I did feel like giving up a couple of times and crowning did burn like a ring of fire. But it was the best labor and delivery experience I had. The natural high that I experienced was totally awesome. I even felt like there was a divine presence in the room when I had my biggest baby yet, all 8 lbs 8 oz of him. And I can honestly say, I can't wait to do it again. I can't recommend a natural labor enough.
Each one of these experiences has made me aware of many different situations that can arise with laboring mothers. Every mom has a different experience. But I want to help a mom that wants to know more about her body and her baby, learn more about how your mind truly does affect you physically and can affect situations in huge ways. I want to help moms realize that they are capable of having a baby. I want to help them learn that their body is not broken, it never has been. I want them to feel empowered by growing a baby and using that empowerment to give birth in a beautiful and peaceful way.
I want to help you!
If you're considering natural birth or just looking to broaden your horizons, let's chat! Comment below or contact me.