Why You'll Never Succeed at Three Children

Why You'll Never Succeed at Three Children

They say third times a charm, right? In the case of children, WRONG, so very wrong! I always feel like it is complete chaos with my 3 kids, ages 5, 2, and 1 (A BEAUTIFUL, MESSY CHAOS that I LOVE!) I spend time getting them ready to go somewhere and I ---GASP!!--- I forgot one!

Surely there is another kid in the house that needs his diaper changed or his shoes on. After I recover from my mini heart attack, I quickly come back to my sound brain and realize "Oh wait!! I only have three! Never fear!"

Do a quick head count---1, 2, 3. Ok, ready to go!

Let me get to the point. Three is an odd number. It just throws things off. Throw in two parents and it's still an odd number. The family of 5 can't pair off and do activities separately. You know like go grocery shopping with one cart or swimming in the same pool. At least one of the said children will be running around on the wet concrete outside of the pool and you're trying to prevent a fat lip or busted toe.

I legit had to put on a lifejacket once at the swimming pool due to pure exhaustion from chasing around kids and being their floatation device. Three is not good!

Solution? That is easy! Have another baby! This would create the magical number of 4. Unless you're really lucky and get pregnant with twins. Four is reasonable. An even number is so much prettier. Isn't it?

FOUR IS MORE! I know what you're thinking..

"How could having another kid help them succeed at ANYTHING?"

Your small army of four children can easily be split up to do activities, if needed. But, it always seems like if one kid is doing something you may be able to convince the other to do it. But if you have two wanting to do the same activity, the other two are sure to follow suit!

Plus a family with four children have a basketball team if mom or dad want to play. Bunk beds! Another win for having four children. Three children means one is always sleeping by himself and usually coming back to your room late at night creeping over top of you waiting for you to jump out of bed and do a ninja move. It also means one is usually sitting in the car all by himself. Have another and give him a travel buddy!

Last but no least, the final reason that you will never succeed at having three children. PIZZA! A large pizza is usually cut into 8 slices so your kids would always get the short end of the pie. If you have 4 kids, they can easily share a large and have two pieces each.

Mom and dad, make sure you order one for yourself. You'll need the indulgence for taking care of four children!